not my blog

I’m just curious why people pay for support from software vendors. I have a customer that pays something like 7 grand a year to Oracle for support and half the time we get some dolt that doesn’t even speak decent enough English for you to understand them. Come on people, for 7 grand you should be able to get someone that speaks perfect Mid-west American English and has enough sense to realize when they are giving you the wrong information.

The short version is we are trying to correct an incorrect character in the database, and I’m running into issues with the command crapping out.

update tattoorecords SET HORSE = REPLACE(’THAT\¿S’,'\¿’,'\”);
ERROR: ORA-01756: quoted string not properly terminated

Granted, I’m not even sure that what I’m passing to the database is correct, but I’m no Oracle God either. So I sent in a SR to Oracle and got back the following command:

SQL> UPDATE tattoorecords SET HORSE = REPLACE(’THAT?S’,'?’,””);

You want to know what that did, bork the entire table, and replace every HORSE value to THAT’S! So then I had to fix that issue (which of course was right before I was about to leave on Friday) and then sent an update to Oracle regarding their genius support reps idea. Not to mention I’m not sure how ? = ¿, but whatever.

So the monkey calls me this morning and is trying to tell me something or other, but I can’t understand a damn word he’s saying cause his accent is so freaking heavy it doesn’t even sound like he is speaking English. Oh well, hopefully someone over at the DBAsupport.com forums will get back to me and get me the information I need.

Digg’s down for maintenance or something (pic), so what am I supposed to do to keep myself entertained? God I feel sorry for the sites that are linked on this page, Askaninja.com is running like a snail atm. Oh well, NOD32 forum is fairly active today. Guess that’ll have to do while I await for Oracle to repsond to a question I have.

After much pestering from the guys at work I ended up downloading the trial of EVE the other day and joining up. So far it hasn’t been so bad, and I’ve actually quite enjoyed it so far. Just the idea that you can get around in this game and never face any real combat if you don’t want to is nice. I’m still just surprised that I finally broke down and tried out an MMO. Just need to make sure this doesn’t turn into a type of Evercrack addicition for me, so my wife doesn’t beat my ass. If anybody out there happens to play EVE, feel free to contact me… I’m Covaro in game.

I might end up actually playing this game once the trial is up, if nothing else than I know a lot of people in the game… which makes it much more appealing. I like playing with people I know, less likely someone is going to stab you in the back.

Well I responded back to Brian today, somewhat of an absurd response if you ask me, but we’ll see what happens.

I want to apologize for my response the other day, I work 12 hour days as a QA Specialist for the Clipper City Brewing Company here in Baltimore. I tend to get slightly drunk… in fact I may have had a few too many today… during work and let it roll over into my personal life. How much money are you giving me again… and what % do I get to keep? I need to know because I am actually in the process of refinancing my house and this would make it a lot easier if I didn’t have to bother with all this paperwork. Also I need to know if I need to open a new acct with my bank, as currently they will only allow me to have $250K in there at any given time (I use a small credit union here).

No offense to you but how am I supposed to know you aren’t one of those Nigerian scam things that I hear about all the time? Do you have information I can contact you at as well during this period? There are some periods where I am unable to get to check my email for 2-3 days at a time, depending on how hard I’m working. And no offense, but my brother is a fucking piece of shit, I don’t like my brother… he’s a drug addict and a leach on my parents.

From the time the paperwork is signed how long will it take for funds to be deposited into the acct? I need to prepare my tax advisor for this, as well as my investment advisor.

Please inform me how to proceed and we can go from there. I will probably not be available until mid-day Friday to respond to any emails.

-Scott

Let’s see if he catches on yet… QA Specialst @ Clipper City!?!? I don’t hate my brother, he’s a cool kid. Yeah right… tell my tax advsior and investment advsior. He’ll probably tell me that is a bad idea or something as obviously stupid as that. You are going to give me 17 million and I shouldn’t talk to my tax advisor? Oh well, he’s also changed email accts to briansmith070@yahoo.com… so feel free to have some fun with him.

If you look to yesterday’s post, I received a phish email and it just really annoyed me. I actually responded to this one with one of my crap addresses. The message was as follows:

Please bend over, grab your ankles and insert your head into your anus. Once insert please do not remove, cause if you think I’m dumb enough to fall for this shit you are seriously mistaken.

Please enjoy the anal raping you shall receive as I plan to post this online for every spambot/asshole I know of to send you email.

Thanks.

Also as a note, I will be following this with an invoice for $1000 for wasting my fucking time. Terms are NET 10.

Early this morning I recieved the following response from “Brian”:

Dear Scott,

Thanks so much for your response to my email. I have read your response and I noted that you completely misunderstood the context of my mail. You have mistaken my message to be one of those hoaxes spreading through the Internet. It is in view of this that I want to use this opportunity to clarify you and assure you that my message to you is real. I am a real person and I want to assure you that you will not regret doing this business with me. Even though it appears unreal to you at the first instance. I want you to give me a benefit of doubt so that we can proceed. I do not have any ulterior motive to take you for a ride. I want you to believe me.

I am going to affect all necessary documents that will make you the beneficiary of the funds. It will be such that the man be quested the deposit to you before he died. I have all machinery in place to set this up. I will ensure that everything is legitimately done, such that there will not be any breach of law. Of course I will give you daily update of every step I am taking. All I am waiting for is your positive response so that I can move into actions and secure the papers that will give you the legitimate claim to the deposit. After I am through with the documents I will furnish you with copies for your own perusal and assessment.

But I must tell you the truth of what is bothering me. I am worried that you might want to run away with the money after you receive it. This has kept on bothering me every time I think about this transaction. Please do not be offended. It does not mean that I don’t trust your integrity, but I will need your assurance that you will not do me bad by running away with the funds after you have claimed. I want you to assure me that you will not do that to me. Please let us trust each other because the success of this business will only be possible if we trust each other. I want us to be like friends and brothers.

Please reassure me now so that I can proceed to organize all documents that will be relevant. All I need now is your full name and contact address, as you want to be in the documents. Also give me your phone and fax numbers. Do contact me now so that we can proceed. If you need any further clarification, do not hesitate to contact me.

Waiting for your response with the information I need.

Best Regards,
Brian Smith.

Wow… I guess I’ll just have to see how far I can string him along. Anyone have any ideas of how I can play this bastard?